The beauty of being you

This morning, I did what I usually do every morning. I woke up, I brushed my teeth, washed my face, and just look at the reflection in the mirror. As usual, I didn't like what I was seeing staring back.

We're flooded every day with images of what perfection is like. For women, it's teeny tiny waists, a gap between your thighs, tiny arms, and long flowing hair. For the men, it's a set of abs that are most likely airbrushed, perfectly gelled hair, muscular arms, and a perfect 5 o'clock shadow.

If I just described you, congratulations! You fit into society's standard of being an attractive person!

For the rest of us, it's less fun.

I have had self esteem problems since my later years of high school. Not because I was bullied; I wasn't. I actually enjoyed my high school years. I had great friends, an amazing family (still do!), and I was pretty successful! However, the more I grew up, the more I realized how much I didn't fit in with how everyone else looked. I wasn't overly tall, I wasn't skinny, I didn't wear skinny jeans with uggs or straighten my hair perfectly every day. And while no one ever made fun of me for how I looked, I began to doubt myself. And doubt can be a dangerous thing to a teenage mind.

Even now, happily married to a husband who adores me and thinks I'm beautiful (he had to marry me for some reason, right? ;) ), I am very, very self conscious, and I know it bothers him as much as it does me.

So, I've decided to change how I look at myself. I am going to try my hardest not to compare myself to someone else, because we're completely different. I am beautiful, and I don't need to change; I need to IMPROVE myself.

I will never be a size two. I will probably always be a little 'fluffier' than most of my female friends. I will likely always have a big butt, too. So, to society, I will never be perfect, and I will never fit in. And that's ok. All I want is to be the best version of myself that I can be. I want to be HEALTHY, not just skinny, and my healthy will never be the same as someone else's. To my other friends and family struggling with their weight, and self esteem issues, remember this: you are not fat. You HAVE fat. There is a difference, and it does not define you.

Week one -INSANITY

So my first week of Insanity has actually been pretty insane.

Hubs hurt his wrist when he dropped his motorcycle, so he couldn't do it for a few days to let it heal up, but I've managed to push through the first week.

I'm sore pretty much every day. Only the first few days were so bad I had to stretch thorough every time I stood up so I could walk comfortably, but I feel good! I'm ready to bring down the next week.

I've decided to take my measurements every Monday, though I won't be sharing them with you until I finish Insanity, just so I can keep the mystery going. ;)

Today will be a tough day, we both woke up feeling pretty cruddy, so finding the motivation to work out, at least with Insanity, will be tough, but I'm sure I'll manage!

Have you pushed yourself this week? Doesn't have to be fitness related!

Starting the year off right!

Hey everyone!

So far, 2013 has been pretty fantastic! Unfortunately, we did get our BOP turned down, but since we finally heard, Mark can go ahead and re-enlist, and we can start shopping for new furniture again! Woohoo!

Also, we started INSANITY yesterday.

Oh. My. Gosh.

This is only the second day and I'm DYING. I'm going to be so sore, but it's so worth it. We have big plans for our second anniversary (since he was gone last year), and I'm determined to look completely different by then. (I also have an eye on a dress hanging in my closet that I want to have to take in).

Also, I wanted to share something that I think is just beyond AWESOME. Mark's stepmom gave me this thing called the BodyMedia armband. It's a little armband that has sensors on it that, when touching your skin, track your calories burned, steps taken, how well and how long you sleep, and when you enter your food, tells you exactly what your calorie consumed/calories burned ratio is. I've only been wearing it consistently for about a week, and I can't imagine my weight loss journey without it now. Seriously, it's great. If you can, I can't recommend it enough.

On another note...

THANK YOU ALL! Slowly, but surely, the Facebook page I started to go alone with my blog is starting to take off, and I'm getting more emails weekly now. I can't thank you all enough for your support! I've gotten so many supportive emails, and just as many with people asking questions about something I posted. If you have any comments, questions, or anything you want to share, comment or email!

<3 KJ