This morning, I did what I usually do every morning. I woke up, I brushed my teeth, washed my face, and just look at the reflection in the mirror. As usual, I didn't like what I was seeing staring back.
We're flooded every day with images of what perfection is like. For women, it's teeny tiny waists, a gap between your thighs, tiny arms, and long flowing hair. For the men, it's a set of abs that are most likely airbrushed, perfectly gelled hair, muscular arms, and a perfect 5 o'clock shadow.
If I just described you, congratulations! You fit into society's standard of being an attractive person!
For the rest of us, it's less fun.
I have had self esteem problems since my later years of high school. Not because I was bullied; I wasn't. I actually enjoyed my high school years. I had great friends, an amazing family (still do!), and I was pretty successful! However, the more I grew up, the more I realized how much I didn't fit in with how everyone else looked. I wasn't overly tall, I wasn't skinny, I didn't wear skinny jeans with uggs or straighten my hair perfectly every day. And while no one ever made fun of me for how I looked, I began to doubt myself. And doubt can be a dangerous thing to a teenage mind.
Even now, happily married to a husband who adores me and thinks I'm beautiful (he had to marry me for some reason, right? ;) ), I am very, very self conscious, and I know it bothers him as much as it does me.
So, I've decided to change how I look at myself. I am going to try my hardest not to compare myself to someone else, because we're completely different. I am beautiful, and I don't need to change; I need to IMPROVE myself.
I will never be a size two. I will probably always be a little 'fluffier' than most of my female friends. I will likely always have a big butt, too. So, to society, I will never be perfect, and I will never fit in. And that's ok. All I want is to be the best version of myself that I can be. I want to be HEALTHY, not just skinny, and my healthy will never be the same as someone else's. To my other friends and family struggling with their weight, and self esteem issues, remember this: you are not fat. You HAVE fat. There is a difference, and it does not define you.