Monday, June 17, 2013

It can only go up from here..right?

Things are so different now.

Our lives revolve around medicine and therapy and prosthetics. 

It's been a long few months. We didn't know when he would walk, when he'd be able to take a leg home to use, or how long it would take for him to comfortably walk.

There's a reason I call him Superman.

Two weeks since he took his first steps, Mark is blowing all of us away. He's walking more and more, he's getting used to it, and he has made so much progress.  This past Friday was the Extremity Games. It's the X Games, but all of the competitors have amputations. A group from the CFI went to watch, and Mark got to go WAKEBOARDING. 

If it weren't for the fact that he's in a chair often, you would honestly never know he's an amputee. I swear.

We went to see Man of Steel yesterday, and watching Mark walk all day (we got ice cream and went shopping after), I was inspired to buy my Superman a t-shirt. He's decided when he gets a new socket, he's going to get the S on it, blue background, red logo. I can't think of anything more fitting for him. He has become such an inspiration to so many people, both in the military and civilian. Thursday was the 2 month mark since his accident. Two months later, he's walking, wakeboarding, and starting to live life to the fullest again. We still have so much progress to make, but its hard to believe that it's only been two months, given all the progress he's made since then. 

Team Johnson is heading to bed, hoping to find out about the LOD tomorrow, and we have a Wounded Warrior event to attend. Your support has been incredible, and I will post tomorrow after we find out, IF we find out.


Saturday, May 18, 2013

Each day is a gift, not a right.

A lot can happen in a day.

Even in just an hour or two.

On April 13, 2013, my husband and one of his best friends went to go ride their motorcycles, and I went to go pick up some plants for my garden. I finished planting everything, and I had just walked inside when my phone rang, and it was his friend. I assumed Mark's phone had died, or he had broken it somehow.

Scott told me there had been an accident. Mark has been in one before,  didn't break a thing, barely had any injuries at all. I asked Scott if anything was broken, and all he would tell me was yes, and that I needed to get to the hospital, and that he would take care of notifying the chain of command. As I drove, I started to get a knot in my stomach. Why wouldn't he tell me anything? Had he broken a leg or his arm? Or even worse, his back?

I waited for HOURS in the ER, with Sgt. Means, his supervisor, before the hospital chaplain came. It took so long to come get me because they had been stabilizing him, and his wallet was missing, all they had was his military ID from his reflective vest. She got some more info, went to enter it in, then finally took me back to talk to the doctor.

Nothing, I mean, nothing, could have prepared me for the words I was about to hear.

"His leg was amputated from the middle of the knee down."

It was a miracle I didn't pass out. I couldn't breathe, I couldn't think, all I could do was scream and cry. Sgt. Means was a champ, he got really pale, but managed to keep cool, which I was very grateful for. I finally got a grip on myself so they could take me to see him before they took him to surgery to clean up his leg. 

I wanted to vomit when I went in. There was blood on the floor, bandages, I was horrified. Icouldnt stop shaking. All Mark kept saying was that he thought he was going to die, and that Scott and God saved him. I was trying so hard not to just snap. 

I managed to call my mom and dad so they could come down, but I was too hysterical to call Marks parents. I just couldn't say the words again. Sgt. Means called them for me, and called the commanders and people who needed to know. I got to go to the pre-op room with him, and Scott finally came in before they took him back, he had been dealing with the police report and finding marks wallet, boot, etc. Mark and Scott talked for a second, then Mark went back. Scott gave me a huge hug for forever and we just cried. 

Words cannot describe how much I owe Scott. He used a tourniquet to keep Mark alive, he called 9-1-1, he handled everything, if he hasn't been there, Mark would not be here today. I will never be able to repay him for what he did. Scott is very much my hero.

My parents and my middle brother came, some officers came, and they all stayed with me until Mark was out of surgery. The accident was around 7, he got to the ER around 8, (he was way back in the trees so it took a while to get him out), and they took him back around 8:45. The surgery lasted until 3, and we went to a room around 4.  

In the end, they had to take the rest of his knee joint. His leg is about the same length as the other leg, from the hip to the knee. His arm, which was broken, has a plate and nine screws in it. He's able to use it again, just can't put weight on it just yet.

The military has sent us down to the Center for the Intrepid, in San Antonio, to fit him with a set of prosthetics, and to rehabilitate him. He desperately wants to stay active duty, but we won't know where that will go for several months. 
This last month has been excruciating. Nothing is more terrible than not being able to help your loved one when they're in pain. We have pulled through so far, though. It's hard, and it will get harder, but we are making it. His squadron has been just wonderful since the accident, and we are being well taken care of.

I'm posting this because I needed to. I am still struggling deeply with what's happened. It's been hard for me to come to terms with the fact that he may not be able to stay active duty. There is a lot of pain and a lot of heartbreak left to deal with, and I will be returning to blogging as part of my own personal therapy.

Hug your loved ones a little closer, and be grateful they're healthy and safe. 

Wednesday, March 13, 2013

Ahh, spring..

Spring is definitely here.

People seem to be having babies left and right.

Bradford Pear trees are blooming. (My grandparents have one in their backyard, one of my favorite trees,)

And people are thinking about spring break and summer jobs and vacations.

While I'm not thinking about spring break, I'm tickled to announce that I have been offered a lifeguard position. Those of you who know me know that I was a lifeguard in high school, and loved it, and I've been wanting to get back into it. After deciding against selling It Works, I wasn't sure if I wanted to find a job or focus on school, but after deciding to apply at the pool on base, I applied at the YMCA off base, and got called this morning. My certificate is obviously expired, but I'm hopefully going to get in the class I found at the end of the month, so I can start early April. I will be working the early shift, so I can work, then swim, then still have my whole day ahead of me.

I'm very excited. I was in great shape when I was a lifeguard, I swam every day after I got off work, so it will only help my fitness goals, which is good, because I'm determined to meet my goals by the cruise in November.

Speaking of, plane tickets are ridiculously expensive. I spent two days straight trying to find the perfect tickets. We're getting there the night before the ship leaves so we can look around Miami a little before the ship leaves, plus, I loathe feeling rushed on vacation, so now we can take our time and really enjoy ourselves.

Have any of you cruised? Who did you sail with? Was it amazing?

Saturday, March 2, 2013

Another month down

Well, it's March.

This year seems to be flying by, especially compared to last year, when I was dealing with Mark's deployment. I was miserable, for sure.

Things are looking up this year for sure. Mark's home, our families are healthy, our sweet dog is healthy, and we're actually going to be able to celebrate our anniversary together! I'm very excited!

Also, my work outs have been going well. I slacked a little this week, didn't push myself like I should have, indulged more than I should have, but I'm still seeing progress, so I won't beat myself up over it. In fact, my wedding ring is now too big, and because of the design, it can't be resized without the possibility of messing we decided for my anniversary gift, we'd look into getting a new ring, and boy, did Mark deliver.

I got my new ring set today, and it's just unbelievable. I adore it. My original ring is very very valuable to me, and my dominant right hand has always been larger than my left, so I'm hoping I can wear it still as a right hand ring.

Tomorrow would have been my off day, but I took yesterday off instead, so back to business tomorrow!

Monday, February 18, 2013

Work hard, play hard, workout even harder

I'll be honest.

I had one of the best workouts ever today. I was at the gym for TWO. HOURS. I just wanted to keep going; I legitimately ENJOYED my workout today. I spent forty minutes going as fast as I could on the elliptical,  spent about fifteen minutes on the bike at a high intensity,  did about fifteen on the treadmill, then another thirty on the elliptical.  My friend Andrea and her fiance came while I was there, and she and I did a little lifting before they left.

That inspired me. Tomorrow,  I'm going to do my hour of cardio, then I'm going to spend the rest of my time on weights.  I'm starting at the lighter end, until I get better at my form, but I'm really looking forward to the challenge. Maybe I can get my hubby to come with me, he's been trying to get into better shape too.

I'm usually a Pilates kind of girl, so I will probably still do that as well, but I would love to really get into weights. So I'm altering my workout plan for two weeks to see how it goes. I'm stikl working the same areas on the same days, just lifting weights instead of Pilates to see if I get better results! I'll post a before and after when my two weeks are up!

Stay healthy!


Saturday, February 16, 2013

The Power of Positive

There's a basic rule, in my opinion,  that you have to follow in order to live a happy life.

You have to surround yourself with positive people. People who will build you up, not make snide comments at you, people who will challenge you to be a better person, not make you feel like you have to be better than everyone around you to be a better person. People who will honestly be happy for your achievements,  not trying to make theirs sound greater, and yours lesser.

Earlier this week, after a lot of drama on Facebook (I won't go into it now, maybe another post), I realized that someone I had considered a good friend, and trusted, was not what I needed in my life. It made the sadness at what happened hurt a little less, because I realized how much negativity this person brought into my life, how they were always making everything a competition,  and how much they had brought me down from the person I should be.

I realized that I haven't been putting everything I have into my workouts,  or things around the house,  because I was so worried about what people would think about me. I realized that I am a  moron. And finally getting that made me both happy and sad, because I have wasted so much time.

Today marks the beginning of a journey for me. Not only in regards to my health,  but in my life.  I'm going to try to be a better friend, daughter, sister,  wife,  person. The more positive you put into the world,  the more you will get back.

I'd like to take a second and say thank you to my husband, Mark. He has put up with so much during our marriage so far, and he knows I'm far from perfect, but supports and loves me the way I am.

My final thought:
The only person you should try to be better than is the person you were yesterday.

Sunday, February 10, 2013

What drives you?

Whatever your goals are, whether you want to lose weight, gain muscle, or just be healthy, you need something that drives you, that pushes you, and inspires you to reach your goals.

It could be something as simple as wanting to lose a size or two, or to fit into that new dress for your class reunion, or that new bikini you bought for a vacation this summer.

Maybe you're trying to start a family, and want to make sure you're healthy for your future children, or the ones you already have, or your parents, or your spouse.

Something a lot of people don't consider, is when you make a commitment to get healthy, lose weight, and/or get in shape, you have to do it for yourself.

You have to want it more than anyone.

People have asked what my motivation to lose weight is, what drives me.

I want to do it for myself. I want to do it for my husband and my family. I want to be an inspiration to my mom and my dad and my entire family, I want to have confidence in what my body can do, and I want to be the best version of myself that I can be,

I want to wear my new bikini on our cruise in November. I want to feel confident in shorts and tank tops this summer, in that little black dress I bought to wear for our anniversary, in my own skin, no matter where I am or who I'm with. I want to live a long, healthy, full life.

What do you want? What drives you to do what you do?