The beauty of being you

This morning, I did what I usually do every morning. I woke up, I brushed my teeth, washed my face, and just look at the reflection in the mirror. As usual, I didn't like what I was seeing staring back.

We're flooded every day with images of what perfection is like. For women, it's teeny tiny waists, a gap between your thighs, tiny arms, and long flowing hair. For the men, it's a set of abs that are most likely airbrushed, perfectly gelled hair, muscular arms, and a perfect 5 o'clock shadow.

If I just described you, congratulations! You fit into society's standard of being an attractive person!

For the rest of us, it's less fun.

I have had self esteem problems since my later years of high school. Not because I was bullied; I wasn't. I actually enjoyed my high school years. I had great friends, an amazing family (still do!), and I was pretty successful! However, the more I grew up, the more I realized how much I didn't fit in with how everyone else looked. I wasn't overly tall, I wasn't skinny, I didn't wear skinny jeans with uggs or straighten my hair perfectly every day. And while no one ever made fun of me for how I looked, I began to doubt myself. And doubt can be a dangerous thing to a teenage mind.

Even now, happily married to a husband who adores me and thinks I'm beautiful (he had to marry me for some reason, right? ;) ), I am very, very self conscious, and I know it bothers him as much as it does me.

So, I've decided to change how I look at myself. I am going to try my hardest not to compare myself to someone else, because we're completely different. I am beautiful, and I don't need to change; I need to IMPROVE myself.

I will never be a size two. I will probably always be a little 'fluffier' than most of my female friends. I will likely always have a big butt, too. So, to society, I will never be perfect, and I will never fit in. And that's ok. All I want is to be the best version of myself that I can be. I want to be HEALTHY, not just skinny, and my healthy will never be the same as someone else's. To my other friends and family struggling with their weight, and self esteem issues, remember this: you are not fat. You HAVE fat. There is a difference, and it does not define you.

Week one -INSANITY

So my first week of Insanity has actually been pretty insane.

Hubs hurt his wrist when he dropped his motorcycle, so he couldn't do it for a few days to let it heal up, but I've managed to push through the first week.

I'm sore pretty much every day. Only the first few days were so bad I had to stretch thorough every time I stood up so I could walk comfortably, but I feel good! I'm ready to bring down the next week.

I've decided to take my measurements every Monday, though I won't be sharing them with you until I finish Insanity, just so I can keep the mystery going. ;)

Today will be a tough day, we both woke up feeling pretty cruddy, so finding the motivation to work out, at least with Insanity, will be tough, but I'm sure I'll manage!

Have you pushed yourself this week? Doesn't have to be fitness related!

Starting the year off right!

Hey everyone!

So far, 2013 has been pretty fantastic! Unfortunately, we did get our BOP turned down, but since we finally heard, Mark can go ahead and re-enlist, and we can start shopping for new furniture again! Woohoo!

Also, we started INSANITY yesterday.

Oh. My. Gosh.

This is only the second day and I'm DYING. I'm going to be so sore, but it's so worth it. We have big plans for our second anniversary (since he was gone last year), and I'm determined to look completely different by then. (I also have an eye on a dress hanging in my closet that I want to have to take in).

Also, I wanted to share something that I think is just beyond AWESOME. Mark's stepmom gave me this thing called the BodyMedia armband. It's a little armband that has sensors on it that, when touching your skin, track your calories burned, steps taken, how well and how long you sleep, and when you enter your food, tells you exactly what your calorie consumed/calories burned ratio is. I've only been wearing it consistently for about a week, and I can't imagine my weight loss journey without it now. Seriously, it's great. If you can, I can't recommend it enough.

On another note...

THANK YOU ALL! Slowly, but surely, the Facebook page I started to go alone with my blog is starting to take off, and I'm getting more emails weekly now. I can't thank you all enough for your support! I've gotten so many supportive emails, and just as many with people asking questions about something I posted. If you have any comments, questions, or anything you want to share, comment or email!

<3 KJ

Hello, 2013!

What. A. Week.

I had the most wonderful Christmas. Having my husband home, being with my family, it was just perfect. I got so many wonderful gifts as well, so many things I've been wanting for a while!

Now, all of a sudden, tomorrow is the final day of 2012.

What?

Where has this last week gone?

We spent Christmas Eve and Christmas Day with my family, then headed for Maryland the day after, and this has been the best trip ever!

So.much.shopping.

My in-laws got me a sterling silver bracelet, and a hand painted wine glass, and hubs got a REALLY nice watch, and it's been good food and shopping pretty much since we got here. Let me tell you guys, if you live around DC, Leesburg outlet malls have fantastic after Christmas sales. I got some really cute tops, and even more workout attire for some amazing prices. I'll post pictures of what I got tomorrow before the NYE festivities start.

What was your favorite thing you got this year? And what are your resolutions for 2013?

-KJ

Out with the Old!

Well my dear friends, 2012 is coming to a close in a few short weeks.

Christmas is only 6 days away, and even though I'm going to be traveling a lot until New Years, I'm taking some time now to reflect on the past year.

The first half was rough, while Mark was gone. Hated hated hated the first part of the year. Looking back, though, it could have been a lot worse. I'm very blessed that he came home safely, and that I had such supportive family and friends during his deployment.

The last half just dragged on, one tough thing after another. This last month has been better than probably the entire year, but my goodness, I'm grateful the year is almost over!

I'm not sure what our plans our to ring in the new year, we'll be spending it with his dad and stepmom, so we will either go out or stay in, but I will be very happy when it's 2013! Like I said in my last post, there's so much to look forward to! I've already written down my resolutions (though I'll probably be adding more!), and they're going to get stuck on the fridge when I leave work tonight so I will see them and remember them every day.

I will be taking my size measurements on New Year's Day so I can accurately track the start of my weight loss journey. Mark will be starting insanity with me, and I will be taking several classes at the gym we're joining as we'll, so hopefully with a few lifestyle changes, we'll be on the right track!

I also will have a VERY exciting announcement to come after the start of the year. It's something I've been looking forward to sharing but haven't been able to, so once everything is ironed out, you all will be the first to know!

I'll post once we get to my parents, then again in Maryland!

-KJ

P.S. I'm not sure if I ever showed a picture of the new car, but I've had some emails about it, so here it is!

Looking Ahead!

I don't know about you all, but I'm looking forward to 2013!

There's so much going on!

We'll finally hear about BOP orders (we put in for Andrews, Langley, Peterson, and Travis!),

We're both starting insanity, and getting a gym membership at this great gym up the road from base,

we'll be celebrating our 2nd wedding anniversary in March (hopefully with a long-overdue honeymoon),

and hubs will be signing away 5 more years of his life to the USAF.

Not 100% sure if that last one is a good thing or not. ;)

But in all honesty, I'm very much looking forward to the new year. New experiences, hopefully at a new base with new people.

However,

As excited as I am to be thinking about the future, I can't stop seeing the amazing things I have right in front of me.

My family, my friends, my sweet (but rotten) puppy, the roof over my head, the food in our pantry, and the electricity keeping us warm tonight. 

So my thought for the week is this:

Be grateful for what you have, someone somewhere is desperately needing and longing for what you have.

-KJ

It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year!

Hey everyone,

Sorry I've been absent! There's been a lot going on! (Though in my life, when is there not?)

I hope you all had a wonderful Thanksgiving! I definitely did, we went to Arkansas to see my dad's side of the family, and since Mark was deployed this time last year, it was extra special, since he was meeting everyone for the first time. Having him there really meant a lot to me. We didn't go Black Friday shopping, we just drove home, but we did stop at the BX and get one of my gifts.

On that note, it's OFFICIALLY Christmas time in our house. We set the tree up, it's decorated, even have a few gifts under it already. I couldn't wait to get it all set up. This is our first Christmas where we've been able to set up the tree decorate, as he was gone last year and the year before we were still dating, so we're considering this our 'first Christmas' together.


I even made a wreath! I think it turned out super pretty for my first ever Christmas wreath. It was really easy to do. I bought it at the BX, wrapped some ribbon around it (blue with silver snowflakes), and added some red snowflake ornaments, and made a red and white bow to put on the bottom. Our Tree is silver and Air Force Blue, so we're kind of going with an Air Force/patriotic theme.

I've been spending a lot of time on Pinterest the last few weeks gathering up ideas for decorating and for cookie recipes to try out, and there's something that caught my eye that I'm dying to try, and will be trying this weekend! Making 'lumps of coal' out of Oreos and marshmallows.


So much for that diet. ;) but in all actuality, I haven't been that bad this year. I enjoyed myself, but I didn't over do it, and for that, I'm proud of myself. I've kind of fallen off the wagon with Insanity, but after feeling extremely refreshed by yoga tonight, I've been inspired to begin it again tomorrow. Pray that I can actually stick with it this time.

Also, I wanted to give a big shoutout to my husband. Tomorrow, November the 27th, is his five year anniversary in the United States Air Force, and Friday is his promotion ceremony. He becomes SSgt Johnson on December 1st. I just couldn't be any prouder of him, he's going to have an amazing career, and I'm blessed to be able to share it with him.


On a final, more somber note, please take a moment to remember that the war is still going on overseas, and that our service members are still laying down their lives for us. We had already decided to light a candle each evening, starting today, after dark in honor of those fighting and those who made the ultimate sacrifice, and sadly, a woman I know was notified today of her husband's death in the Middle East. Please, even if your spouse isn't in the military, take a moment, and just thank God that they're home safe with you. Many are not so lucky.

Have a great evening.
-KJ